"There is not a quick fix": A social worker on breathing through troubling times

Amid relentless transitions and the emotional toll of today’s political climate, a mental health professional invites readers to pause, breathe, and reconnect with themselves and the people they love.

Our nervous systems are a collective wreck right now. In our daily lives, there are many small moments of mental and physical transition. From the house to the car, to work, to lunch, finishing that task, remembering to schedule that doctor’s appointment, you may have been on your feet working all day, returning home, cooking, cleaning, chores, and homework. Each moment, whether we notice it or not, requires a different part of us. Of our brain, body, and being. 

This, with the reverberation of the latest news about ICE, geopolitics, and what is happening to our families, neighbors, and children at the order of this administration; we may find ourselves checking out, snapping at our loved ones, feeling more fatigued, overwhelmed, defensive, or avoidant. To feel that way means you’re a human being with normal human emotions. 

There is not a quick fix for changing how we feel or to get into a “positive mindset.” This is not a human experience any of us should have to tolerate or endure. When we get through this, the most difficult and painful work of healing will have to be done by the survivors and not the assailants. 

To get through this, we each must find meaningful ways to connect within ourselves and with others. Here is where I would like to share a bit of what I know through my own lived experiences and work to support you and your loved ones in this moment in history. 

It may sound silly. I need you to breathe. 

When you get home and you see the space around you and the people you live with (your kids, partner, roommates, friends, whoever) and your first reaction is a negative one, I would like for you to do the following. Take a deep breath. 

I want you to do the following. 

Notice your breath. 

Slow it down. 

Notice your heartbeat. 

Imagine it feeling at ease. 

Notice your jaw. 

Unclench it.

Notice your shoulders.

Drop them. 

Start this over.  

Then look at your people with you. Notice them. Ask for a hug. If they say yes, bring them in tight and just breathe with them. Hold them. Notice their breath, their heartbeat, notice their tension. Just breathe together. 

You don’t have to talk. Take this time to welcome a moment of connecting within yourself and with the people you share space with each and every day. The breathing and noticing in moments that are safe will remind your brain and body that you are, in that moment, indeed as safe as you can be. You are worthy of giving your brain and body those moments of safety and connection. 

If you allow me to, I will continue to offer small ways to care for your nervous system, your brain, and body during this time in our collective human history. 

With gratitude, 

Patricia C. Rodriguez, LMSW  

Patricia Rodriguez is a Licensed Master Social Worker who currently works as a school-based mental health professional working with adolescents. She has previously worked in advocacy and service roles with a number of community-oriented non-profits. She draws on her experiences as a teen mom to help people access internal resources for connection and healing from trauma of systemic injustice through the lenses of kindness, hopefulness, and play.